I can’t believe how much CRAP I shoved into this one bedroom…all of it stuff I couldn’t live without, yet I hardly touched any of it the entire 2+ years I was here. My books, my sewing, my quilt fabric…! I’ve been quilting for more years than I care to remember; not only was it what I did but it defined who I was as well…so, to go this long without sewing is amazing!
To be fair, I had no idea at the time my jewelry would take off the way it did. So now I’ve learned about cutting, grinding, soldering, and making glass jewelry. I LOVE it, and I miss doing it when I’m not able to be in my studio, plus I find each step of the process equally exciting. That’s a good thing.
Unfortunately, it’ll be a while before I can work again. First I need to move everything, then organize the house, and then set up my studio.
I may have to rethink that order…
This sleeping on the floor at my age is getting old really fast…I refer to it as my Princess and the Pea bed as it consists of quilts, blankets and sleeping bags stacked high to create a mattress. The empty-room chill of the cement block walls and concrete slab floor are getting to me tho…I wake up each morning with a nasty migraine.
But–the question remains, How much more crap can I fit in the house?
February 18 DAY 1:
My first night at the house…can’t put it off any longer. I’m kinda worried about being here; kinda scared. I keep waking up to be sure the car is still out there (it was stolen once when we lived here years ago). The bed feels good after the floor–so far at least. I don’t mind the twin size but its still hard as a rock. I don’t think there’s any real mattress in it, just padded cardboard and it creaks every time I move. I’ve added all the blankets from the apartment to pad it.
My dad would be happy…I wear shoes all the time here because of the glass slivers everywhere.
February 19/Day 2:
I’m sick of moving. Why do we carry so much stuff around with us? How much of it is really necessary? My promise to myself is to PURGE and reduce it to simple, easily managed items that can be transported in 1-2 trips. VAN trips, not semi’s!
My precious fabric–I don’t even use it that much anymore–although now that I’m back here, I have the urge to sew again…it haunts me. I look forward to having a real area to sew in, not just a cramped corner. I’ve decided to restrict the fabric to a small walk-in closet instead of an entire room. I’ll fit the 4X4′ space with shelves…and I will only allow myself to keep what fits in the space.
Didn’t sleep as well tonight, and in the morning, had to find clothes to wear to church…where did I put them? and, WHERE’S MY CLEAN UNDERWEAR?????
February 20, Sunday/Day 3
I had a melt-down Sunday night…too many memories of the last time I moved in here…but this time, the dh stopped over to help a bit. Last time I did this, he was, well, he just wasn’t around.
After that I managed to get my optimism back. I know the dh thinks I’m not facing facts when I try to look on the bright side but seriously, if I don’t, I sink into despair. The few times he’s hammered at me to get my act together, get a real job instead of my freelance photo job;…I can feel the despair welling up inside until I crumble and start to cry and feel as if I’m doomed and I’ll never get my life back on track…Then he says things like, ‘I believe in you, you can do it”. Do what??? You just tore me down and pretty much destroyed any confidence I had of doing anything! He just doesn’t understand…take away my hope and faith and there is nothing left…I will die of despair. He just doesn’t get it.
But–the truth is, This is the beginning of a new adventure. Each day will build on the last until I get my total life rolling, free to FLY. I want this time of my life to be one of huge growth and exploration. Each new day, another step. Just as when I look back over the past 5 years and see how far I’ve already come, I’ll be amazed at how far I will have gone.
February 21, Monday/Day 4
I changed the lightbulb at the top of the hallway stairs!!!!!!! I’ve been afraid to do that for years and have done without a light on the back stairs for ages. I feel so Strong..!
The “cardboard-bed” is getting very uncomfortable.