So, what brought that up?  Well, I’ll tell you <smug smile here>.  I just moved a 72X30″ MDF (not wood, that’d be too easy) shelf unit upstairs all by myself.  AND I didn’t hurt anything

It’s all in the leverage.  Hmmm, just as in life.

Today’s list:

go to work…I’ve been so lax there lately that all this will be for nothing if I can’t pay my bills and lose it!  I need to visit a couple accounts and do an interview tonight.

find my clean clothes-you know, the ones I still fit into  :/

get a huge load of garbage together to take out.

take out same.  (tomorrow is the Goodwill day)

set up a pseudo-workshop and get some new pieces cut and ground.  I might pack all my jewelry-making stuff to take along..since I’m allowed *2* suitcases and I don’t think I can find enough clothes to fill even 1!

when I get back:

fix that bathtub faucet!!

fix the downstairs toilet: new guts and I really need to put a new wax ring in there.  Why am I afraid to tackle this???  I’ve already done the guts part for someone, but the wax thing-I hear its so simple but maybe I’m afraid once I lift the toilet all kinds of s*** will come pouring out all over me? (Like that’s never happened before?!)

Well, I’ll shut up now……

I spent the evening with Ben et al, who turned 4 today!! Then I came home and rewired the phone jacks as there was no phone service.  Didn’t help, but after 40 minutes on various automated-menus, I reset the modem and voila! it works again.  I have no idea what happened, but it works.

So, as a photo for today, I’ll show you my daily photo for today that my bestest friend Dave sends me…I’ll be joining him shortly and this is our countdown:

It's in the 80's there!!

Later gator!!

jm

I did the kitchen for the most part, as you’ve seen; it has been totally dumped on as I keep moving crap in this place, but it’s functional.  And now I can say I have a sort-of bedroom. ..with my own bed, not that cardboard twin bed I was using.

You remember what it looked like last night; it’s not a whole lot better, just empty enough to put my bed up and that makes me happy.  The area at the foot of the bed needs to be cleared and made nice but at least I can sleep here!

not the prettiest-yet-but the most comfortable bed I've ever been in.

As I was coming into the kitchen to get something, the song on the radio was singing: ‘you’re stronger than you think’.  No kidding.  I just moved a queen sized solid wood bed and mattress and I’ll tell you, don’t mess with me!

It was harder just bringing all the bedding downstairs–I kept knocking things over!

Anyway, I’m off to take a quick rinse off in my non-functioning shower but that’s another story and another day’s work.

later, gator!

So, one last load, lots of garbage.  I hate when it gets down to the dregs of things you just don’t know what to do with–you end up throwing them all in a box to deal with later…only in this case, its about 7 boxes.  At least I was able to throw away 5 bags of trash.

I stopped at my daughter’s to beg some food (still don’t have a fridge), went home and just left it all in the van to deal with another time.

Inside the house, though, it was frustrating.  All the stuff that had already come into the house just wasn’t dispersing fast enough.  The rooms were getting cluttered and full of things waiting to be taken elsewhere-Goodwill, the garage, the dumpster.  My living room had been nice and clear until that last load, and you can see my bed standing there, forlorn and unslept-in…I miss that more than anything else!  It’s one of the reasons I’m writing this at 3:30am–my little cardboard mattress is not beckoning me.

living room with bed

I’ve decided I can’t wait til spring to get my bed back.  It’ll take forever to get the mattress and box springs upstairs since I have to go through the back door that’s all boarded up.  That means I’ll need help.  That means I’d have to wait until they have the time to help me.

I can’t wait that long.

SO, I’m going to sleep downstairs in the room off the living room:

bedroom-to-be before

It’ll be OK, then I’ll just use the upstairs as my studio…not as convenient, but it’s only for a year, y’know.  So I kept working in there until I felt I made progress for today:

bedroom to be now

So where did all the stuff go?

kitchen now

That’s *15* boxes of bottles to go downstairs along with the shelf, and some display fixtures for my shows.  NOW I can go to bed.

Tomorrow’s job:

no-hot-water faucet

Trying to figure out why there is no hot water pressure in this knob when the pressure is fine in the sink next to it.  I SO miss a good shower!

Til later…

The guy came to look at my refridgerator Thursday–diagnosis: burned out fan.  He has to get the part and will come back Friday.  No problem, I have no food in there anyway…but then comes that horrendous snow tantrum and I’ve got a sea of snow that starts at my front door and goes as far as I can see…

It looks like a real home!!!  I unboarded the windows, put the woodwork back up, made curtains and everything!

Casualties: I hammered my finger when hanging up the curtains and that STUPID cabinet in the corner nearly got the best of me…I dropped it twice.  The first time was at the apartment and it fell on me…I think I broke my hand.  4 days later and it’s still swollen and hurts like blazes. 

That’s the PROgress part…the REgress:  Saturday, I got grandkid reinforcements and it took the three of us all morning to dig out the driveway!  Went to the apartment and filled up the van and car, brought more stuff in this house–and its not even MY stuff!  All my parents  stuff that I need to get out of the apartment so we can close it up…it makes me want to cry-my house is back to a narrow path in the living room and the kitchen is getting filled with tools and…and just stuff.  Tomorrow should be the last of it but I think most of what’s left will go into the garage…bikes, gas grill, that sort of Stuff.

I need dish soap…it’s still at the apartment so I can’t even do dishes.  That’s all right, I have hot chocolate mix and a bottle of rum…Who cares about anything else?  It’ll get done eventually!

 To be fair, I had no idea at the time my jewelry would take off the way it did.  So now I’ve learned about cutting, grinding, soldering, and making glass jewelry.  I LOVE it, and I miss doing it when I’m not able to be in my studio, plus I find each step of the process equally exciting.  That’s a good thing.

Unfortunately, it’ll be a while before I can work again.  First I need to move everything, then organize the house, and then set up my studio.

I may have to rethink that order…

Feb 12:

This sleeping on the floor at my age is getting old really fast…I refer to it as my Princess and the Pea bed as it consists of quilts, blankets and sleeping bags stacked high to create a mattress. The empty-room chill of the cement block walls and concrete slab floor are getting to me tho…I wake up each morning with a nasty migraine.

But–the question remains, How much more crap can I fit in the house?

February 18  DAY 1:

My first night at the house…can’t put it off any longer.  I’m kinda worried about being here; kinda scared.  I keep waking up to be sure the car is still out there (it was stolen once when we lived here years ago).  The bed feels good after the floor–so far at least.  I don’t mind the twin size but its still hard as a rock.  I don’t think there’s any real mattress in it, just padded cardboard and it creaks every time I move.  I’ve added all the blankets from the apartment to pad it.

My dad would be happy…I wear shoes all the time here because of the glass slivers everywhere.

February 19/Day 2:

I’m sick of moving.  Why do we carry so much stuff around with us?  How much of it is really necessary?  My promise to myself is to PURGE and reduce it to simple, easily managed items that can be transported in 1-2 trips.  VAN trips, not semi’s!

My precious fabric–I don’t even use it that much anymore–although now that I’m back here, I have the urge to sew again…it haunts me.  I look forward to having a real area to sew in, not just a cramped corner.  I’ve decided to restrict the fabric to a small walk-in closet instead of an entire room.  I’ll fit the 4X4′ space with shelves…and I will only allow myself to keep what fits in the space.  

Didn’t sleep as well tonight, and in the morning, had to find clothes to wear to church…where did I put them?  and, WHERE’S MY CLEAN UNDERWEAR?????

February 20, Sunday/Day 3

I had a melt-down Sunday night…too many memories of the last time I moved in here…but this time, the dh stopped over to help a bit.  Last time I did this, he was, well, he just wasn’t around.

After that I managed to get my optimism back.  I know the dh thinks I’m not facing facts when I try to look on the bright side but seriously, if I don’t, I sink into despair.  The few times he’s hammered at me to get my act together, get a real job instead of my freelance photo job;…I can feel the despair welling up inside until I crumble and start to cry and feel as if I’m doomed and I’ll never get my life back on track…Then he says things like, ‘I believe in you, you can do it”.  Do what??? You just tore me down and pretty much destroyed any confidence I had of doing anything!  He just doesn’t understand…take away my hope and faith and there is nothing left…I will die of despair.  He just doesn’t get it. 

But–the truth is, This is the beginning of a new adventure.  Each day will build on the last until I get my total life rolling,  free to FLY.  I want this time of my life to be one of huge growth and exploration.  Each new day, another step.  Just as when I look back over the past 5 years and see how far I’ve already come, I’ll be amazed at how far I will have gone.

February 21, Monday/Day 4

I changed the lightbulb at the top of the hallway stairs!!!!!!!  I’ve been afraid to do that for years and have done without a light on the back stairs for ages.  I feel so Strong..!

The “cardboard-bed” is getting very uncomfortable.

I checked with him later that day and he’s fine…he used to complain about the place so much–I guess the real issue was his male ego because they wouldn’t let him care for her like he used to.  Now that he’s in there as well, he has his duties back.  I walked in on them the one day to find him washing her face and changing her into a clean shirt.  She looked so much better with his care than their hurried attempts.  This is definitely the best decision we’ve made for them.

As for me, I need to pack and get out–as well as go through all their belongings and dispose and/or disperse them.

And my brother would like it done yesterday.

Of course.

Then I remembered my laptop–YES my settings were untouched…!  So here I am again.  Lots to tell, lots to talk about, lots to share.  Dreams, adventures, and hopes all mixed together so thick it makes my head spin.

Life has been a merry-go-round whirl, a roller coaster ride for sure.  I won’t go into too many details all at once, but over time will share it all, no fear.  For right now, a brief outline:

Jewelry-Very successful! A wonderful show in Florida, great gallery sales, now I’m actively seeking more galleries in other areas of the country.

Work:  new career (but I don’t WANT a career!!) that I can love that entails writing / travel / photography, almost like I’ve always dreamed of. 

Home-life:  not too much change there yet, but pending.  Dad is about to join mom in the nursing home…I’ve done my best for the past 2+ years to keep him going independently, but it’s been so hard on them to be separated and now he’s needing more care than I can give him.  They are looking forward to being reunited. 

So–Pending freedom for me, both emotional and actual, as I will be set loose and  need to move out of this 80 degree bedroom  and back into my poor abandoned home.  I don’t intend to be there forever, just long enough to fix it up and Move On. 

A brand new grandbaby, and another one due in about 4 months.  The ties that bind are strong-this would be the only thing to keep me here anymore.

Well, back to work…i have another ad to create and an article to write.  No rest, you know… guess I’ll shut up now.

-JM-

My proudest achievement was making a quilt by hand inspired by the antique quilts I couldn’t afford to buy.  I patched together scraps to make pieces big enough to cut the patches from, just like they used to years ago.  It was of new materials, but many of the fabrics were part of a reproduction line so they looked the part.  I hand quilted it, then entered it in a show.   Throughout the day, as I worked at the show, I heard women discussing whether it was contemporary or an antique…so I knew I’d succeeded in making my very own ‘antique’ quilt.

Since that time, I’ve moved to contemporary, one-of-a-kind quilts…quilts for walls.  Inspired by clean modern art, by color and line, I created my own graphic statements.  Maybe I should have been a painter, but fabric was my medium, it was all I knew.  My second proudest achievement was creating a quilt that was accepted into the very first international quilt show.  It went to Salzberg, Austria for the huge quilt fest and then traveled for 2 years. 

The quilt scene became so crowded after that.  So many shows, so much money involved, so many hundreds of quilt artists who made these fantastic quilts…I couldn’t help but wonder, would they have made them had there been no show, no $10,000 prize for them to try for? 

I felt very stifled and overwhelmed.  I stopped going to shows, quit my quilt groups, dropped my magazines.  I wanted to create, but I didn’t want to be influenced or amazed by everything out there.  There was so much talent and so many awesome things being done…I basically dropped out and worked on what I wanted, when I wanted, IF I wanted…and it wasn’t often.  I would work furiously for 2-3 months, creating maybe 15-30 pieces, then walk away and do nothing the rest of the year.  I did enter  a show during that time and got in; a friend sent me a picture of the quilt.  I have no idea where the quilt is now, if its sold or if I even still own it. 

But here, this is coming back to the root of it all.  Alabama Chanin is doing it again, but in a new way…simple but so expressive.   Seeing her work excites me and makes me want to go back and do it again.   Check out her blog and give it a go-it will enrich your life!

Alabama Chanin's Indigo Star

Seeing one of Dale Chihuly’s glass installation was one of those magical experiences. I remember catching a PBS special on him and his work.  To see his exuberance and larger-than-life presence–I was fascinated.  He was so alive and I loved that he was dressed in bright yellow pants and a turquoise shirt!

He was so immersed in his art, and confident; he knew just what he wanted to do. To watch him create his glass was a thrill but strangely enough, it was watching him paint his studies that truly freed me for a time. His large arm movements and sweeping gestures, his generous splatters and squirts of large paint tubes…and in mere minutes, he had painted plans of a new piece of glass art.  As abstract as they are, there is no question of what they are to be:

I was lucky enough to see a couple of his installations over the past few years. The last one was at the Phipps Conservatory in Pittsburgh a couple years ago and if you ever get the chance, be sure to see it at night-that’s when the magic happens! I’d seen the Franklin Conservatory in Chicago and, as wonderful as it was, there was no comparing the two.

Click to view slideshow.

His art is surreal and organic…it looks totally as if it could have been growing there, yet like nothing you’ve ever seen. His creations are so fantastical and unique, and he obviously has such a joy in creating–just like what I imagine God must have had when he created the many different species of wildlife…in fact, I have the same feeling of wonder looking at his art as I do when I see pictures of a coral reef filled with all the strange varieties of fish.

I would like to be able to create like that!  To have such a joy in the doing, such confidence and sureness. To not sit and agonize over every little speck but to splat and splotch and dump and smear and just totally make a mess but with a vision so strong that it’s impossible to deny.

Sigh…..   Ok, I’ll shut up now!